John's Arcade Forum - Classic Arcade and Pinball Collecting and Restoring Discussion Forum - RETRO MAME - Nintendo Vs Forum

I have three kids, whom I love dearly.. I'm not complaining.. Far from it.. The age range is from 5 1/2, 2 and then a 1 month old.. It was our choice.. I got married later in life in 2007 (I'm 39 now)..

I'm just wondering how you guys with small kids stay in the hobby..

Currently I have a Neo geo (mame) that will be converted and finished back to original some day. A  ms pacman cocktail with groovy Mame (due to not having the spare cash to go the arcade Sd route)..

I have an office with a Jungle Lord pinball that hasn't been touched in more than 6 months (need to fix the cpu, clear the PF and re-airbrush, touchup)..

I work 60+ hours a week.. I work more hours at night in between baby feedings on my side business.

I haven't turned my vids on in over two months.

I missed the huge arcade expo here in south Florida..

I'm dying to go to Brofest and Grinkers..

My in-laws live in my pool house and pay a portion of the mortgage/bills..

I make great money but it all goes, and goes fast..

I have no time and I can't bring myself to leave my wife with our small kids so I can go to an arcade event or expo.. I'd feel guilty and it would just end up causing friction with the wife..

How do you others guys do it..

My wife kinda keeps saying that latter in life will be time to get back into the hobby.. Latter in life..

It's killing me to think about leather when I'm 55+ and it's impossible to find a CRT much less how much will these games cost? 5k for a beat up Galaga with a 60 in one and a lcd?

Am I crazy, or lazy?

Thank you.. Sorry I just needed to put this out to others in the hobby..




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Your wife said it. There will be time later in life. You're doing the right thing staying with your kids. Enjoy your time with them while you can.

I have a bad situation myself. I lost my father and was left taking care of an elderly mother with Alzheimers and got no help from my one and only sibling. To top it off my mother had horded for over 40 years and packed my parents house. It took me a few years to clean it up. Now my mom is living in a memory care facility and the house is sold, but I still have to go check on her, do her bills, do her taxes, take her to Dr appointments, etc, etc, etc.... The point here is not to give you a big sob story but to give you an example. I lost the toddler years with my son, they were robbed from me and I can't get them back. If you have time to spend with your kids and your wife then spend it with them. It's precious and once lost, it's gone for good. Don't worry about the games. They are only things. Things don't matter, your family does.

When they get older you'll have more time and as a matter of fact, you'll be able to get your kids involved and use the games to spend time with them, teaching them not only to play the games, but how to work on them too. Teaching your kids is part of being a good Daddy and it's fun too. Stay strong, keep God in your life and everything will be fine.

Being part of a hobby doesn't mean to go all in and attend every event in person at the expense of something higher on the priority list.

For me family is a priority, so I don't attend the events in person.  I enjoy the hobby by watching youtube videos, forums, podcasts, etc.

I do have project games that I work on one at a time (ie. takes 6-8 months to finish), but I do this late at night when everyone is asleep, sometimes on the weekends if nothing is going on.

Can adjust your level of involvement higher if you get more free time in the future.

Thanks for the words guys.. I appreciate it..


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Personally, I take two nights a week. One to play games and the other to work on them. Projects are slow coming, but they do get done. With a 2 and 3 year old if I can eek out anything more than that, it's gravy...

Things slowed up on the arcade front for the first six months after each of the kids were born. When your youngest starts sleeping through the night, things will open up for your dude time.

I've got a 2 year old and perhaps more soon. So I don't have as many children as you do. My 2 year old loves watching the games and sitting in the seat of my racing game. He can identify Donkey Kong and Ms. Pacman and knows that only quarters go in that lovely coin slot.

As far as time goes, it usually after everyone is in bed that I get to work on it and perhaps a day here and there on the weekend. I've met a good group of people locally who are very helpful. They get together one night every week, and while I can't make it every week, my wife encourages me to go once or twice a month. We get together at someone's house and play games and work on things.

So that's how I stay in the hobby. I understand with 3 kids and working nights it's going to be tough, but one night a month or a weekend day here and there shouldn't break a family. It's important that everyone has their own interests and time to do them (your wife included).

You can probably get your oldest one involved in the process too, either playing the games or helping you do some of the work. They'll appreciate it when they are older  :)

Good luck!

The key word in this thread is "hobby".  I didn't look up the definition in Webster's, but my definition is that a hobby is something you do in your spare time. SPARE time, that is.  Unfortunately jtslade, at this particular point in time it doesn't sound like you have any of that. I work 45-50 hours a week (sometimes a bit more), have a wife and a 9-year-old son. There are a lot of weeks that between helping the wife with daily chores, spending time with my son, being involved with his activities, and spending quality time with my wife that there just isn't room in the schedule for much else. And it stinks, but it's life and I know at the end of it all I won't regret that time spent. I can't imagine working more hours and adding two more kids to the mix...I tip my hat to you, sir.

I am a night owl, so my "me time" usually comes after everyone else is fast asleep.  At times I've been guilty of making it more of a second job or a sleepless quest. It's really easy to get sucked in and spend all of your time on it.  I did that with my first MAME cabinet build, and it still took me a few months to get it done. I was one tired puppy by the time I got it finished, and it made me realize that I was so focused on getting it done that I wasn't having any fun by the end of it.  And a hobby is supposed to be fun. So if that happens to you, then it's time to put it on the back burner and recognize what is really important.  

My wife and I had a lot of trouble getting pregnant and in the end we could only have the one child. We were older than most parents when we had him. I think it's a lot tougher when you are older because you've been accustomed to having a lot of personal time to do whatever you want. Then one day the kid comes along and boom that faucet gets shut off completely and immediately. You WILL get some freedom back in larger fractions as time goes on, and it will be sooner than you realize even if it doesn't seem that way now.

And no, you may not get to go to some of the events every time like you used to. Some things change completely when you have kids, but I think more likely what will happen is that you will eventually get to do those things again, and when you do then you will really enjoy and relish it.  Probably more so than you did before.

Hopefully as the kids get older, your whole family will get involved in the hobby on some level.  Working on the games, playing the games, what have you. Some of the best times I've had within the past couple of years have been hanging out in the garage with my son, our neighbors and their kids, trying to get the new high score on Pac or SMB or Galaga, listening to 80's music and reminiscing. To me these games are a time machine to warp us back to our younger days, even if it's just for a short while.
Things change, but that doesn't mean that the change won't bring fun times again. Hang in there!
And keep in mind that your children's childhood is a fleeting thing...it won't be too many years before they have friends and don't want to hang out with mom and dad all the time!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk